24-year old woman calls out boyfriend for choosing to share a 1-bedroom with 22-year-old female cousin, claims it's inappropriate: 'She said that it's weird that 2 grown ups of opposite gender live together'

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Nov 1, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

When you're in a relationship, you probably have certain boundaries with each other. That might extend to who you talk to, how you spend your time, and who you live with. You don't get to control each other's lives, but you should probably at least tolerate each other's habits. You are choosing to be together, after all. You should probably get comfortable with each other's choices. But what if your boyfriend chose to share a room with his female cousin? Would you be okay with that?

That's what one woman had to contend with when her boyfriend, who she was not living with, sprung his new living situation on her at the last minute. He would be sharing a room with his younger cousin. She immediately went on the defensive, calling this a weird choice and wondering why he would prefer that to living with her. The way he saw it, he was saving on rent and living with family. He couldn't understand why she thought that it was a strange situation. So he reached out to the internet for more opinions. 

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  • Two cousins sit on a bed, one reading while the other plays guitar.
    via Anita Monteiro

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Commenters rightfully wondered what both of them had in mind. Some understood the drive to live with your cousin to save on rent, but others saw it as an unconventional choice that was worth investigating. Read on for the full story and see what commenters had to say about it. 
     

  • AITA for living with my cousin of opposite gender in a 1 bed apartment?

    I'm 24M, girlfriend 24F, my female cousin 22F. All of us are working in IT. Till now, me & my girlfriend were living separately in respective 1 bhk apartments. We've no plan to marry within 2-3 years and no plan to live together before marriage.
    via u/Competitive_Still639
  • It's the capital of our country, rents. are too expensive, eat up around 30% of my monthly income! I was living alone in that apartment till now.
    via u/Competitive_Still639
  • My cousin recently got a job here. Soon, we decided to live together in my apartment and obviously split the rents. Both of us share a very healthy & close bond since childhood. The fact that we both like to live neatly & organized makes it even better.
    via u/Competitive_Still639
  • It's a win-win situation for me & my cousin as it's saves a HUGE part of our income and we get each other's company at home. For me, it's not a thing in which I need my girlfriend's approval, as we aren't going to live together for at least 2-3 years.
    via u/Competitive_Still639
  • I told it to my girlfriend before 6-7 days of my cousin's arrival. She gave me an unexpected reaction and said that it's weird that 2 grown ups of opposite gender live together with no romantic interest in a 1 bedroom house. Basically, inappropriate. I found it honestly gross that she's sexualizing a brother-sister type relationship. My cousin is a part of my family. Our dads are real brothers!
    via u/Competitive_Still639
  • Please note that the bedroom got 2 separate beds installed. It's been nearly a month, we're living together happily and it has made life easier in every way. We even divide the housework, which reduced my overall workload. So I'm in NO mood to change the things just because my girlfriend is being uncomfortable, AITA?
    via u/Competitive_Still639
  • A young woman sits at a desk in a room with bunk beds.
    via Unsplash+ (Andrej Lišakov)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Commenters weighed in with their thoughts.

    Envelope_Torture 23h ago The Americans in here need to stop answering like OP is staying with his first cousin in Alabama or something.
    via u/Envelope_Torture
  • Hypno_psych · 23h ago . While you're NTA you might also want to consider if you're going to behave like this throughout your entire relationship with your girlfriend. When she expresses she doesn't like something, will you think "oh I don't need to take that into account"? Coz let me tell that's the road to a very unhappy and unsettled relationship. you,
    via u/Hypno_psych
  • You don't need to necessarily do what she says, but you do need to talk things through with her and consider her points of view and ideally work together to find a solution that you're both happy with.
    via u/Hypno_psych
  • FlamingFireball70 • 23h ago NTA She's being insecure & disgusting, unless cousin- marriage is common in your culture (which I don't think so). Sadly, it looks like she doesn't have a loving extended family.
    via u/FlamingFireball70
  • naisfurious • 23h ago NTA. A) Your living arrangements are your business, not your girlfriend's, until you're married. B) There's nothing wrong with family sharing a home, regardless of sex or gender.
    via u/naisfurious
  • NoHuckleberry4262 · 23h ago • ESH. I think that it's weird for you to have a made a major change (sharing not just an apartment but a bedroom!) in your living situation with very little notice (6-7 days) and no consideration of your longterm girlfriend who you hope to move in together with in the next 2-3 years.
    via u/NoHuckleberry4262
  • You should obviously see that this effects her. She can no longer stay at your place. without also sharing a bedroom with your cousin. It generally disrupts your relationship's progress, where partners usually start staying over progressively more and more before moving in
    via u/NoHuckleberry4262
  • together. It creates daily domestic routines with someone who is not your girlfriend. The benefits accrue to you and your cousin (saving money finanically) but the inconvenience is shared by your girlfriend, who is getting none of the financial benefits.
    via u/NoHuckleberry4262
  • I think that she is wrong to frame her objections as being sexually inappropriate. I think if you had a roommate sharing your bedroom of any gender, cousin or not, this would have still been a problem, since the underlying lack of communication and consideration for her needs would still be there.
    via u/NoHuckleberry4262
  • marceries · 23h ago NTA. As an adult I would want my own room (also to be able to invite partner as a guest and have some alone time), but in the end it's your choice. and there is nothing weird about it. Maybe if there was some random girl I could understand where the jealousy come from but it's literally your sister...
    via u/marceries
  • doguillo77 • 23h ago NTA I would do the same with one of my boy cousins if I were in your shoes, but like you I also have close sibling- like relationships with my cousins. I've been learning recently that a lot of people aren't friends with their cousins like my family is.
    via u/doguillo77
  • Is she close with her own cousins? If she's not that could be a factor playing into her current mindset.
    via u/doguillo77
  • . Remote-Passenger... · 23h ago How does your cousin moving in affect your time with your gf? Like, did you guys split hang out time evenly between both of your places? Does cousin moving in mean less quality time with your partner?
    via u/Remote-Passenger7880
  • I mean, NTA, but if you guys aren't even gonna share housing til marriage, I can see why she'd view sharing a bedroom with someone of the opposite sex as alarming. Its family so it shouldn't be that alarming but it's already been established that sharing a room with someone of the opposite sex is an intimate act.
    via u/Remote-Passenger7880
  • drgrouchy 22h ago I think it's a little weird you're sharing a one bedroom but if that works for you, more power to you. I can see why your girlfriend might find it weird too. Don't be surprised if you find yourself single and available soon. Your next girlfriend will probably have the same reaction.
    via u/drgrouchy
  • Specialist-Owl2660 • 22h ago . NTA That is a family member not a romantic interest. People like your girlfriend always give me the ick. My brother had a girlfriend once that was mad he lived with his older sister (my little sister) because
    via u/Specialist-Owl2660
  • they're "two years apart" and honestly I'm shocked my eyes didn't come out of my head with how wide they got at that insinuation. Strangers that sexualize family apparently have their own issues they need to address.
    via u/Specialist-Owl2660
  • ReadMeDrMemory • 23h ago NAH. If your gf insisted you not live with your cousin, I'd vote NTA. but if all she's going to do is say it's weird and inappropriate, she gets a pass. It's an unusual arrangement for adults of the opposite sex; whether it's improper is in the eye of the beholder. (You accuse your gf
    via u/ReadMeDrMemory
  • of "sexualizing" the situation, but you don't quote her doing that. It doesn't have to be sexual to be "inappropriate," and she wouldn't have to sexualize it to worry that others would.) Even if you call it "a brother-sister type relationship," in most developed countries, it's pretty unusual for adult siblings to share a bedroom, isn't it?
    via u/ReadMeDrMemory
  • whorl-⚫22h ago NTA sounds like you are living thrifty. I shared a room with an opposite-gender friend when we were both young and poor. It was fine.
    via u/whorl-

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